What if Wedding Guests Don’t RSVP?


We have many wedding couples ask us what to do when their wedding is just a few weeks away and the deadline for returning RSVPs has come and gone, yet they still have not heard from many of their wedding guests. This is quite common and we want to assure you that you are not the only ones experiencing this wedding headache. Here are a few tips to help you de-stress the RSVP process and keep yourself calm during your guest tracking experience.

Set Your Deadline 2 Weeks Earlier than Needed

The best way to make sure you have all of the RSVPs by the time the final count is due to the venue or cater is to set your RSVP deadline TWO WEEKS earlier than needed. By nature, people tend to wait until the last minute to do just about anything. Guests generally receive the wedding invitations weeks before the actual RSVP is due. Busy or absent-minded guests may forget to get the RSVP card in the mail by the due date or may wait until the very last day to send out their cards.  Having a nice, large buffer space that will allow you to contact those people and get an answer BEFORE your final count is needed can relieve the stress of needing to make last minute phone calls or emails and hoping you get an answer right away.

Call or Email

The first step should after the RSVP deadline has passed would be to pick up the phone and call or shoot an email to any guests who have yet to RSVP. In most cases, many people receive the invite and then set it aside to send after plans can be made, but forget about it as the days pass. A simple call or email can remind them that they never gave you a solid answer and allow them to put in their RSVP immediately without sending back the physical card. If you do not have guests’ contact information, utilize family members and friends who would. Parents can often reach out to extended family or relatives that the wedding couple may not speak to on a regular basis. Mutual friends may have an easier time speaking with the guests that are coming in from out-of-town, etc.

Stop Asking Questions – Start Telling them What Will Happen

Simply put, any guest who hasn’t given you a definitive answer by your final RSVP due date gets marked down as a “no.” You can then politely tell them so in an email, Facebook message, or phone message! Just a simple statement like this will work:

“We have to have a final wedding count for the caterer and venue this week and since I haven’t gotten an RSVP from you, I’ve marked you down as unable to attend. If I don’t hear back from you, I’ll assume that’s ok. Hope you’re doing well, and let’s catch up soon!”

Why this is not considered rude: As a wedding couple, you are not asking them for anything. You’re not giving them another item for their to-do list that they can simply put at the back of their mind. You’ve told them exactly what’s going to happen if they close the window and ignore your message. If they don’t answer, they know that you will not expect them at the wedding.  You’re just letting them know what’s happening and why.

At Town Manor on the Lake, we specialize in stress-free wedding planning. Our goal is to ensure that you have a spectacular, unforgettable event that is perfectly planned and executed. From our gorgeous venue to our delicious meals and exciting entertainment, our all-inclusive packages are sure to please the busy wedding couple. We hope that these tips for tracking down guests for your final wedding count will also help relieve some of the anxiety of wedding planning!